Forgotten Soul
by ShadowOfApate
Summary: Weaver has amnesia which leads to some interesting results
1. Default Chapter

Forgotten Soul  
  
Part One  
  
By Aeris Jade  
  
aerisjade@worldnet.att.net   
  
Part: 1/?  
  
Rating: R  
  
Beta Reader: Scotty 'the brick' Welles  
  
Spoilers: Season Seven  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She read over the report critically before starting the next paragraph. Behind her, she could hear Malucci and Abby yelling at each other, followed by a loud crash. 'Why did the computer in my office pick today to quite working?'  
  
  
  
Having enough, she spun around in the chair and stood up. "HEY!! That is enough. I'm sick of your bickering, Now if you two insist on acting like children, then that's the way I'll treat you." She paused, taking some pleasure in the chaste looks on their faces. "For the rest of the day, you two have janitorial duty, and you will work as a team. Your first task is to clean every toilet in this hospital, and I mean every single toilet, on every single floor."  
  
  
  
"Oh, come on, chief, Surely you don't mean every toilet..." He trailed off as he took in her mood. "But...even the patients rooms...? But...that'll take us days..."  
  
  
  
"Then I suggest you get started." Kerry put her glasses back on and turned to the computer.  
  
  
  
"...all your fault...."  
  
  
  
"Me?! You're the one acting like a..."  
  
  
  
Kerry slammed her hand onto the desk. "Hey, do I have to give you something else to do?"  
  
  
  
Abby blanched and yanked Malucci away before he could reply and get them into more trouble. Kerry suspiciously watched them go, she'd check in on them in about an hour and make sure they were doing what they were supposed to.  
  
  
  
She settled in front of the screen and started to type again...only she couldn't remember what she had been typing. 'Does it never end?' She had tried, she really had. All day she'd kept a tight rein on her temper, but she could only take so much, and frankly she was having a bad week.  
  
  
  
Between Carter getting put out over her and Mark constantly looking over his shoulder, Jing-Mei's pregnancy, Malucci avoiding Benton, Benton's sudden temper change, Kim coming on to her, certain uncomfortable dreams she'd been having because of that, and Mlungisi being... she was a wreck. Of course her avoiding Kim was also a problem, especially since that for the last two days the blonde doctor had been a constant presence in the ER looking for her.  
  
  
  
She thrived on pressure, lack of sleep, and stress. A talent that had let her fly through med school, that had ended with her graduating with honors and as her classes valedictorian. But at that moment she wasn't sure how much more she could take.  
  
  
  
She was on the verge of just telling everyone off, and possibly decking Romano. Decking him? She wanted to tie him down to an examine table and neuter the bastard, without anesthesia. Hell, forget neutering him, she'd just take a chain saw and... If her imagination was any indication then it was time for a vacation. A long one.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kerry slapped the side of the computer as the screen flashed green, then red, and then went blank. Two hours worth of reports had been on there, and she hadn't gotten a chance to save them yet. "Damn it."  
  
  
  
"You okay?"  
  
  
  
Kerry narrowed her eyes at Mark, clenching her jaw to keep from saying anything 'instructive'. She took a few shaky breaths visualizing calmness. Her bubble of anger looked over at her bubble of calm, cocked its head and laughed. "I'm going home."  
  
  
  
She brushed past a surprised Mark who seemed to have the sense not to point out that there was another hour left of her shift. She figured he was simply afraid she'd assign him to toilet duty with Malucci and Abby, but whatever his reasons she was grateful.  
  
  
  
Her body slammed into the lounge door causing it to fly open and bounce off the wall. Luka, Corday, and a few stray nurses looked up. She bared her teeth and growled very softly as she grabbed her stuff, but it was loud enough to cause the two doctors to take an involuntary step back. Randi, who'd just been entering the room through the other door, hastily backed out.  
  
  
  
She took one last look around then stalked out, her body language sending anyone in her path scattering. She made the short distance to her car in a matter of seconds and violently tossed everything into the back seat. Revving the car to life, the wheels spinning briefly in the day old snow before screeching out onto the street.  
  
  
  
'Why does everyone expect me to take care of everything? I'm not a machine, I have a life, I have feelings.' She speed up as the light turned green, seeing a large shadow approaching from her right.  
  
  
  
She turned her head and barely had time to scream as the truck sideswiped her.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"We're got incoming!" Randi screamed into the lounge.  
  
  
  
Mark sighed tiredly. It figured that the minute Kerry left, the ER would turn into a madhouse. That was how it always worked. He couldn't figure it out. She could leave for five minutes, for an hour, or a day and everything would fall apart.  
  
  
  
"Great, so much for lunch." Elizabeth grumbled as he followed everyone out to meet the ambulances.  
  
  
  
"Hey, at least you got to eat something."  
  
  
  
The first ambulance was already unloading their patient and rolling it inside. By silent agreement, both he and Elizabeth took it.  
  
  
  
"What've we got?" he asked as he noted the...woman's head was wrapped in gauze.  
  
  
  
The two paramedics exchanged nervous looks. "A large truck rammed the side of her car. Her head hit the steering wheel..." They stepped back as the others transferred the woman onto the table. "...The woman is..."  
  
  
  
"Oh, god Kerry..."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Carter raced into trauma one. He'd just heard that Kerry had been brought in and that she'd been sent up for a head CT, but no one knew anything else. The room was quiet as Lydia and Haleh rushed around Kerry. Mark and Elizabeth were softly confirming next to the light boards.  
  
  
  
Carter's eyes flickered from Kerry to the x-rays trying to decide which one was most urgent. He squeezed her bruised hand, then moved behind Mark. "Are those the scans?"  
  
  
  
"You shouldn't be in here."  
  
  
  
Carter leaned past them studying the two x-rays intently. "Neither should you, or Dr. Corday, or Lydia..."  
  
  
  
"You know what I meant. You're her friend."  
  
  
  
Carter tore his eyes away from the board long enough to levelly gaze at the attending. "And you're not?"  
  
  
  
"He's right." Both men glanced at Corday, surprised by her soft support. "Everyone here knows her in some form or another."  
  
  
  
"What's the diagnosis?"  
  
  
  
"A couple of bruised ribs, sprained wrist, and a slight concussion," Elizabeth recited as she flipped the board off.  
  
  
  
"No brain damage?" Carter asked cautiously.  
  
  
  
"She's awake."  
  
  
  
He tensed as he moved to her side, his senses working overtime as he tried to notice everything. The way her grey eyes scanned the room in confusion, the way she winced as she tried to move her left hand... "Hey, you gave us quite a scare. Do me a favor and don't do that again?"  
  
  
  
Kerry frowned at him without any recognition. "I...WA...where am I?"  
  
  
  
"You're at County." Mark stopped writing in her chart, taking in her lost look for the first time.  
  
  
  
"Is that a new hospital?"  
  
  
  
"Do you know your name?" Elizabeth asked gently when neither man responded.  
  
  
  
"Kerry Christine Weaver."  
  
  
  
"What's the date?"  
  
  
  
"December 09, 1987."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kim approached the front desk, not sure how to break the news to everyone. She was used to telling strangers bad news, not people she knew.  
  
  
  
Carter saw her first, his eyes drilling into hers, searching for some sort of answers. "Is she okay?"  
  
  
  
"She's fine."  
  
  
  
Carter relaxed minutely as he waited for her to drop the bomb.  
  
  
  
"But she's suffering from partial amnesia."  
  
  
  
"Meaning...?" Peter asked.  
  
  
  
"Meaning, she remembers all her medical knowledge, birthdays, holidays, but everything else she's coming up blank. As far as she's concerned she thinks she's still living in Africa and 27 years old." Kim was definitely not happy about this. Kerry was a good friend, but she was also a love interest, and they still hadn't talked about what had happened over dinner.  
  
  
  
"All right. Will she get her memory back?"  
  
  
  
"If she wants to."  
  
  
  
Carter tapped his fist against the desk, trying to keep his emotions under control.  
  
  
  
Elizabeth placed her hand on his shoulder. "What does that mean?"  
  
  
  
"It means that Kerry's been under a lot of stress recently and a close friend of hers was killed last night. The accident acted like a trigger, but it's up to her whether or not she'll regain them."  
  
  
  
"She never said anything," Lydia muttered.  
  
  
  
"Does she ever?" Mark replied.  
  
  
  
"What should we do?" Carter asked finally.  
  
  
  
Kim shrugged. "Nothing. There's no reason why she can't continue working in the ER. In the meantime, I'll try to keep an eye on her and monitor her condition." She glanced over at Mark. "Are you going to keep her overnight?"  
  
  
  
"There's no reason to, but if you think..."  
  
  
  
"No. She needs to be around familiar surroundings."  
  
  
  
Carter dumped the chart he'd been working on. "I don't mind leaving early to take her home..."  
  
  
  
"I don't think so. We're backed up as it is."  
  
  
  
"I can do it. I'm off in a few minutes anyway."  
  
  
  
Mark eyed Kim curiously, but nodded his approval. He was aware that the two women were friends, but there was this little voice that kept nagging at him, suggesting that they were more than that. 


	2. Chapter Two

Forgotten Soul  
  
Part Two  
  
By Aeris Jade  
  
aerisjade@worldnet.att.net   
  
  
  
Rating: R  
  
Pairing: KW/KL, ensemble  
  
Beta Reader: Scotty Welles  
  
  
  
Note: I thought you'd guys would get a kick out of something. One of the fanfic sites has a link to the love calculator, which you probably already know what that is. Anyway I did Kerry and paired her with everyone in the ER. Well guess who her top three matches were. Kim Legaspi, Doug Ross, and Jing-Mei.  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Ce'st la ve  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She slowly walked around the dark, cedar-colored living room, taking in every little thing, looking for some clue as to who she'd become. Her fingers brushed across a small, black statue of an African god. A gift from her godfather when she graduated med school.  
  
  
  
The collection of masks over the fireplace was also familiar. A collection she had started after she'd finally been adopted. A sort of memorial to the person she'd nearly become inside the isolated orphanage.  
  
  
  
She frowned slightly as she took in the few pictures that sat in a dimly lit corner. One was from her graduation party, another of...what was his name again? Jeffrey, Jared? One of a light-caramel-skinned woman holding a baby next to a darker-skinned man in a police uniform. She ignored the rest of the photos; they were all of things she didn't remember.  
  
  
  
"Anything look familiar?"  
  
  
  
Kerry turned back to Kim, watching her carefully. The blonde had an ease about her, a way of becoming part of the surrounding environment and making it look like she belonged there. Even now, standing in a house that was African in decor, she seemed to fit in perfectly.  
  
  
  
"A few things..." She collapsed onto the nearby sofa, unconscionably running her hands over the crutch. "Do...you know how I...ended up...like this?"  
  
  
  
"You don't remember?"  
  
  
  
Kerry leaned back, trying to think back. It was all so confusing. One minute she was happy, and a resident at a remote South African hospital, the next she was the chief of the ER and lame. "The last thing I can remember was the party."  
  
  
  
"What party?"  
  
  
  
"We'd found out we'd finally gotten an MRI, and we started having an impromptu party in the ER. I remember James coming down from surgery to join us." Kerry shook her head as her memory became foggy. "That's it..."  
  
  
  
Kim sat next to her, close enough for her to feel Kim's body heat, but not quite touching her. "If you want, I can pull your file."  
  
  
  
"I want to know..." Kerry ran a hand through her hair. It was like stepping into the twilight zone. Her hair had been shorter than this, and definitely not this color, at least not totally. She just hoped that she hadn't gotten 'Lanna' removed. "I wonder...."  
  
  
  
She couldn't stand it, she had to know. Before Kim could react, she had unbuttoned her blouse, exposing the black silk lace bra underneath and a tattoo of a lioness covering her heart. She sighed with relief, gently caressing the small, fierce female cat. Whatever had caused her to turn into such a sourpuss hadn't caused her to get rid of her spirit guide.  
  
  
  
"Wow..." Kim breathed softly, unable to tear her eyes away from the tattoo or her...assets. Not that she was trying to very hard.  
  
  
  
Kerry ignored the psychiatrist's obvious approval and rebuttoned her blouse. "Thank the gods..."  
  
  
  
"When d-did you get the tattoo?" Kim asked, trying to keep her voice from shaking noticeably.  
  
  
  
"On my sixteenth birthday. 'Lanna' was Mlungisi's present to me."  
  
  
  
"Really?" Kim leaned forward and casually asked, "I don't suppose you have any other tattoos you want to show me?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Carter whistled calmly, casually picking up a chart and taking a subtle glance at his watch.  
  
  
  
"It's 10:28, it was 10:28 when you checked your watch ten seconds ago, and it was 10:28 before that."  
  
  
  
Carter dropped the act and glared at Randi. "How is it that you can sit there reading a magazine, listen to a walkman, and still stick your nose into my business, but you can't answer a simple phone?"  
  
  
  
"It's a gift...and checking your watch every other second isn't going to make her get here any sooner."  
  
  
  
"She's always ten minutes early. It's now less than two minutes before her shift." Carter looked to Mark for some sort of support.  
  
  
  
"I'm sure she's fine. Now can we all get back to work?"  
  
  
  
"I think Carter's right. The Chief is never this late..." Malucci did a quick count to make sure there wasn't a lot of people nearby. The last thing he wanted was for the others to see him agreeing with Carter.  
  
  
  
"First of all, she isn't late, she still has..." Mark checked the nearby clock. "...30 seconds. Secondly, she's a big girl and she's capable of taking care of herself."  
  
  
  
"Yeah, but what about the hit she took? For all we know, she could be lying in a coma, or she could've had some sort of seizure..." Malucci trailed off as Carter turned white. "Uh...then again, I'm sure Dr. Greene's right... I mean she's probably just...just..." He swallowed and went back to his chart reviews.  
  
  
  
"He's right. I never should have let her go home alone..." Carter trailed off as the redhead in question lazily walked into view with Kim.  
  
  
  
Both women were laughing and drinking Starbucks' coffee. What really caught his attention was the form-fitting black pants and the even tighter dark green sweater she was wearing.  
  
  
  
"Whoa, I had no idea the chief had a body."  
  
  
  
Carter slapped the younger man across the back of his head.  
  
  
  
"Ow! What did you do that for?"  
  
  
  
Carter slammed a chart into his chest. "Get back to work or I'll tell Dr. Greene about the camera you hid in OB..."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"...then what happened?"  
  
  
  
Kerry chuckled maliciously as she shut her locker. "He went running from the OR wearing nothing but latex gloves. The lion just lay there on table with his pants hanging from his mouth."  
  
  
  
"I would've loved to have seen that."  
  
  
  
Kerry glanced around, then lowered her voice. "I just happen to have a tape of it."  
  
  
  
"Really? And just how did you manage that?"  
  
  
  
"Someone...accidentally left a camera laying around and..." Kerry trailed off innocently as Carter entered the lounge. "You want to meet for lunch?"  
  
  
  
Kim took the hint and moved to leave. "Sure...I'll find you later."  
  
  
  
"How're you feeling?"  
  
  
  
"Other than a minor headache, I'm fine." Kerry pulled a mug from the cabinet and filled it with coffee. She wasn't sure how to react to anyone here since she couldn't remember them.  
  
  
  
"You should probably have someone check that out... What's going on between you and Dr. Legaspi?"  
  
  
  
Kerry nearly dropped the spoon she was holding. It was a little hard to miss the insinuation in his tone. "What are you talking about?"  
  
  
  
"Are you two...? I mean there's been some rumors that you two have been..." Carter cleared his throat as Kerry turned around. "Deb said she saw you and Dr. Legaspi on Thanksgiving, and it looked like you were on a date."  
  
  
  
"I'm not gay."  
  
  
  
Carter shifted his eyes away unable to meet her intense gaze. "Maybe not, but she is, and she hasn't exactly kept her...interest in you a secret."  
  
  
  
Kerry felt her stomach twist at his suggestion. "Look, Jerry..."  
  
  
  
"John..."  
  
  
  
"John. I can't remember anything past when I was 27. I don't know you or Kim, or anything else that's happened since then. What I do know is that I am n...n...not into women. I am n...not g...gay or bi." Kerry turned away from him, not wanting him to see the uncertainty.  
  
  
  
She could see his tall figure walk over and lean onto the counter from the corner of her eye. His body seemed to be so sad. She found herself fighting the urge to look over at him, to take him into her arms and make that sadness go away.  
  
  
  
"You're like my big sister. In your own way, you've been a silent support for me. I just want you to know that you can talk to me."  
  
  
  
Kerry looked up at the resident, seeing past the youth, past the innocent grin, and pulled him into a fierce hug. It didn't matter if she remembered him because she knew deep down that he was family. "Thank you."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The ER's music was blaring as the nurses danced around the ancient-looking admittance desk. The doctors seemed to have thinned out since the ER only had two patients. She felt his strong arms slip comfortably around her waist. Not exactly intense, just familiar. She smiled in response and leaned back, whispering softly.  
  
  
  
He spun her around and danced her down the dimly lit hall, pushing her back into the nearest exam room. As the dark man used his foot to shut the door, she caught a glimpse of Mlungisi laughing at them. They had been married for five years and they still acted like they were on their honeymoon.  
  
  
  
His mouth covered hers, his hands already searching her body. She let herself go, her body reacting almost mechanically. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy being with him, it was just it always seemed like a letdown. One that she tried to make up for with enthusiasm.  
  
  
  
He pulled back slightly, his eyes locked on something she couldn't see.  
  
  
  
"What's wrong? James?" Kerry glanced to her right.  
  
  
  
Her last patient was standing there, holding a gun at them.  
  
  
  
'Talk him down...I've got to talk him down...'  
  
  
  
James' grip on her tightened painfully as he screamed out at the man. "Don't kill me. She's the one you want..."  
  
  
  
She swung around to stare at James, more stunned by his panicked words than the man with the gun.  
  
  
  
She yelped out as he squeezed her arms. His breathing sped up as he growled, pushing her violently at the man. She tried to regain her balance, flaying wildly for something to grab. Her hands landed on two thick arms, her body jerking painfully as two loud bangs echoed through the room.  
  
  
  
Blessed numbness flooded her legs. In a daze, she slowly looked down at the blood as it quickly seeped through her pants and shirt...  
  
  
  
"...Kerry!!"  
  
  
  
She leaned against the sink on shaking legs, struggling to stop herself from hyperventilating. She could still feel the bullets as they tore into her. Destroying her life.  
  
  
  
"Hey. You okay?"  
  
  
  
Kerry glared at the crutch now laying on the bathroom floor. Suddenly cursing herself for remembering. "He shot me."  
  
  
  
"Who shot you?" Elizabeth stood back, giving Kerry some space. She wasn't sure what was happening, she could only guess. One minute they were standing at the admittance desk watching Peter take a gunshot victim into trauma one and the next, Kerry was standing there talking to someone named James.  
  
  
  
"My patient...he had a gun. James...he let me get shot so he could get away."  
  
  
  
Elizabeth frowned at the confused woman. 'Who's James...?' "I see..." She carefully picked up the discarded crutch. "Let's go to the lounge and we'll get Kim down here..."  
  
  
  
"My own husband was willing to let me be killed so he could live..."  
  
  
  
"Unfortunately it happens." Kim entered into the bathroom, glad that Randi had called her. "Some people are willing to sacrifice anything for the chance to live."  
  
  
  
Kerry wiped the tears, willing the anger to take over. "It was our fifth wedding anniversary, and he stood there screaming at him to kill me instead...bastard."  
  
  
  
Kim motioned Corday to leave. The last thing Kerry needed was for someone who couldn't understand her ghosts to hear all of this.  
  
  
  
The surgeon hesitated before handing her Kerry's crutch. "If you need any help..."  
  
  
  
Kim put the crutch aside. "I take it that's how you ended up..."  
  
  
  
"...lame," Kerry finished bitterly. "This guy had brought his seven year old daughter in the day before. She'd stepped on a mine...I couldn't save her. Both of her legs...The night it happened, the party was in full swing so no one noticed him come in."  
  
  
  
"James had snuck down from surgery and dragged me into one of the exam rooms. One minute he was all over me, the next he was shoving me at the patient while he ran. I could hear him screaming, telling everyone to get out that some maniac had a gun. Mlungisi wanted to get me, but he insisted that I was dead. That he'd tried to save me..."  
  
  
  
"Then how did they find you?" Kim asked softly as she eased herself closer to her friend.  
  
  
  
"Mlungisi was smart enough to find out for himself. He simply marched into the exam room and took the gun from the guy."  
  
  
  
Kim touched Kerry's shoulder, asking silent permission to come closer. To her surprise, the redhead stepped into her arms and buried her face into her shoulder, sobbing softly.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
--  
  
Aeris Jade Orion  
  
  
  
" This act hasn't been seen in 20 years, and if I'm any judge of talent it'll never be seen again." 


End file.
